posts> Humbled


October 19th 2017

I have my second appointment with the Naturopath to discuss protocol. My husband insists the night before he is coming with me; I feel too sick to disagree, honestly I am a little relieved. We decide to drive separately so he can head straight into work after… so I call him on our way there. Right, kill two birds with one stone- love efficiency.

He starts… “so is this guy a “real” doctor does he have his MD.” I am sweating, agitated, not relieved anymore, I say with a sigh  “Yes he has gone to med school, he can prescribe drugs. He is a ND not a  MD.” Then the insurance questions begin… “so this is covered by insurance right?”  Irritated ...I respond, “no, I talked to you about this, I use the flex spending.. ( HSA account).” I am fully dripping, needing a change of clothes at this point. Whose idea was it for him to come, my supportive husband has been taken over by aliens. I say I need to go, because I really need to breathe. We all have our patterns in our relationships. Mine can be when someone is questioning what I am doing, I feel trapped and defensive particularly, when that person is my husband. I am sick. I don’t want to be taking on worrying about this doctor’s credentials and insurance. I need him to trust me that I have done my homework. There is no price tag on one’s health. I am wishing he had stayed home.

We meet with the naturopath. He explains the 2 diagnoses Lyme and SIBO, then proceeds to tell us he thinks that I should take something for the diarrhea which hasn’t subsided because, hold your breath, I am malnourished and I am really sick. Malnourished!  I never thought I would hear that word used to describe me.

I really like him because he dialogues this decision with me, non-steroid vs steroid. I ask him what he thinks I should do, he says take the steroid because we have wasted enough time and I am really sick. He also adds that he thinks I should call the GI doctor and let him know that I have Lyme and SIBO because we need everyone on my team. I am so humbled I have spent all these months trying to avoid a steroid to end up having to take one. BREATHE.  The naturopath  isn’t like other doctors I have met who need to be right, they need to play god, that think they are doing you a favor when they give you 15 minutes of their time. Their ego gets in the way of helping you. He recognizes the benefit of people working together for the patients greater good. REFRESHING. I am convinced  80% of being a good doctor is compassion and listening the other 20% is skills. I feel validated and heard.

He also adds he doesn’t think that SIBO or Lyme are actually the cause of the GI issues and he would like to do more blood work. I am thinking in my head god is this not enough? I stay while my husband heads to work. A kind, gentle nurse draws several vials of blood and we have a nice discussion. I like coming here; it feels warm and supportive. I don’t feel crazy or lonely.

I leave and call my husband because even though I may feel irritated, he is my support. He answers and I say “ I am really sick.” He responds gently “ I know.” Nothing else spoken just an understanding. I don’t need to over explain the doctor or insurance, he is completely present. I am humbled and appreciative.